It's probably easier to find other goths when you're still in school, or if you go to clubs on a frequent basis (assuming you're not the only one in your town/area). However, for those of us who took the longer road, and for those who don't live in goth-friendly places or have much opportunity to club, it's a bit of a challenge. Since my search for like-minded souls is still very much ongoing, I thought this would make a good topic.
In the 15 years I've lived in this particular city, I think I've seen a total of two goths, and I'm only absolutely positive about one. One was at a public bus stop with her friends, so I was hesitant to just say hello out of the blue, especially since I wasn't quite sure if she actually was goth. The other one I've seen twice walking down the street while I was riding on a bus going the other way. Both were either high school or early college age, so I'm old enough to be their mother. ::SIGH::
Since obviously this town is NOT a big haven for goths, I've had to look elsewhere to meet them. I joined a local goth meetup goup about a year ago, but had limited success as I wasn't able to attend many of the events, and several I could have gone to were cancelled due to venue and/or participation problems. Fortunately, participation is starting to pick up again, so I'm giving it another shot. (For meetup groups in your area, check out: http://www.meetup.com )
I also began searching the internet for goth blogs to give me ideas about what the subculture is like today (as opposed to the 80s and 90s), and for info on clothes, makeup, hair, and all the usual things we obssess about. ;-) While most of the bloggers I've found are in other states or even countries, I was lucky enough to join a penpal group that one of them started, so I'm now at least able to correspond with new goth friends on a more personal level than just comments in a public blog.
Clubs are still a possible venue for meeting people, although it's hard to actually MEET someone in a dark room with music blasting constantly that you have to scream over if you want to talk. My husband and I went to one in San Francisco last year, and we did have a good time, but didn't meet anyone. The closest I came to actually meeting people was in the bathroom while exchanging funny comments with a couple of women at the sinks! But the 'local' goth clubs here are all 40-60 minutes or more away from home for me, and while I'm lucky to be THAT close to several, it's hard when most of them meet on weeknights or Sunday nights. It's extremely difficult to get up and go to work the next day with Club Fog Brain! I'm definitely NOT as young as I used to be...
So, what I'd like to know is what other ways there might be to meet local goths. Any suggestions?? How did YOU meet your friends? Inquiring minds would love to know.
My "Goth friends" I've either met online or grew into the subculture along side. I know how you feel about the Goth-clubs though! My closets one is three hours away and the trains don't travel that late!
ReplyDeleteUghh, three hours each way is definitely too far!! Unless, of course, you live in Texas, then it's pretty normal. (And that's NOT an insult, BTW, just a fact I got from some Lone Star friends.)
ReplyDeleteAs an older person, I can relate to your problems finding a Goth family. One thing that helped me was getting involved with a local tea society. While not all its members are Goth some are. There is also a sort of revival happening in my city. There will be a "Darkness Resurrected" event happening this coming May. I can't wait!
ReplyDeleteSweet, I LOVE tea and tea parties! That's something I could look for on the Meetup site, too. Thanks for the idea!
DeleteAnd welcome to my blog, I'm enjoying reading yours very much! :-) I hope you'll be posting about the Darkness Resurrected event; maybe we could also do something like that here.
Thank you for the welcome and I extend the same to you. I'll definitely post about the Darkness Resurrected event after it happens in late May. I'm just counting the days.
DeleteMaking new friends is SO much fun! Thank the gods for the Internet and blogosphere. Now if only someone would invent real matter transporters that people could actually afford to use, life would be almost perfect.
DeleteHello Pen Friend Lucretia! : ) So glad you found me! Honestly, I've been going to goth clubs and events for about 20 years now and I don't really meet people there either. So many of us are introverts! And most of us are there for the music - not really to socialize (unlike normal people at normal bars and clubs).
ReplyDeleteA word of caution - these days there are tons of people walking around looking sort of gothy - who have nothing at all to do with the subculture! So glad I was young when a certain "look" indicated a definite subculture connection!
I guess I don't have any advice at all about meeting goth friends IRL b/c I really don't have any myself!
I hope you find some fun open minded people to hang out with! Let me know if you ever visit Philly!
Hello to you, too! :-)
DeleteI did notice that there wasn't much mingling at the one club I've been to; the main thing seemed to be the dancing, which was fine with me! It was nice to be able to just DANCE, and not have lots of angst going on. And now I've made a few friends in the meetup group, so that helps. If I ever visit Philadelphia, you will definitely know in advance! :-)