Sunday, March 30, 2014

In Memorium: Clara Viola Morris, 1916-2014

This post is a tribute to my grandmother, Clara Viola (Fouts) Morris, who lived her life from October 6, 1916 to March 24, 2014.

Grandma wasn't the "grandmotherly" type that people tend to think of, a fluffy white-haired old lady sitting in a rocker knitting.  She did crochet for most of her life, and probably made several tons of blankets, toilet tissue covers, potholders, baby clothes and various other yarn goodies, but I don't think I ever saw her in a rocking chair; there isn't even one at her house. Instead, she loved to travel, which she was able to do after her children were grown and she was living with her partner of over 40 years.  He was a musician, and they traveled around several states; he and his band would play in different clubs, and she would frequently get temp work at the same club as a cocktail waitress.  She had some pretty wild stories to tell from those days!  When I was up there right after my mom had her surgery, I drove Grandma from Clearlake to St. Helena to visit her in the hospital.  It had apparently been several years since Grandma had been out of Clearlake, and she reminded me of an adorable puppy dog on a road trip.  She spent the whole trip to the hospital staring out the windows, trying to see everything as we drove by; if she'd had a tail, it would have been wagging furiously!!  :-)  I was really glad she got to take that last trip with me, even though she was exhausted by the time we got home.

Grandma was married three times (the first time at 18 to my grandfather) and widowed twice before she was 40.  She raised four children and buried two of them, as well as two of her grandchildren.  When I was at her house last week, I found a box labeled "Army Letters"; in it were many letters written to her by my grandfather while he was in the Army during World War II.  With my mom's permission, I took them home with me and have been reading them out loud to Martin in the evenings since I've been home.  They are fascinating to read, and although they weren't written by her but to her, they are giving me a different perspective on her life and who she was, as well as introducing me to the grandfather I never knew.

Grandma was one of the ladies who taught me to crochet, and I will always appreciate the time she spent helping me when we visited her or vice versa. In retrospect, I realize that she also taught me, as did my mom, that you don't have to conform to what society expects you to do in order to be happy.  It's more important to follow your heart and be who you REALLY are.

Rest in peace, Grandma, and I hope you are having a big happy reunion with your parents, your sister, your husbands, your partner, your children, and your grandchildren.  Say hi and hug everyone for me!

14 comments:

  1. Oh honey, I am so sorry for your loss. But boy! Grandma sounds like my kind of lady. :-) Huzzah to her for living as she pleased, and doing so to the fullest extent. Hope she looks up my grams whenshe gets to the other side -Betty Reiss. She was a flapper and worked her whole life as a meat packer. They'd have a ball together.

    So much love to you, dear friend. Hey, do you want to Skype soon? We can finally talk to eachother!

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    1. Thanks. I think she would probably LOVE meeting your grandmother! :-)

      We don't have Skype, and I'm not sure how to get it. I just looked it up on Wikipedia, and I STILL don't get how it works! (As I've said, I'm a real technosaurus.) Can you e-mail me and explain it? Thanks!

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    1. Thank you. Her passing was very quick and easy, fortunately. We're just glad she is no longer in pain and stuck in a body and mind that no longer worked properly.

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  3. I'm so sorry for your loss. What a groovy Grandma you had. And how wonderful that you are able to get an extra insight into her and your grandfather via the wartime letters.

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    1. Thank you. And yes, the letters are a fascinating look at their early lives as well as American history. We'll both be sorry when we've finished reading them!

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  4. Lucretia, I'm very sorry for your loss. Your grandmother certainly lived a full life though and I'm glad that you have not only learned valuable lessons from her, but are now able to look at different sides of her personality. May you always retain fond memories of her.

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    1. Thank you. She did, indeed, and I'm grateful for both the opportunity to spend her last week out of the hospital with her, and to see who she was and what her life was like all those years ago.

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  5. Traveling with a musician, eh? Sounds like she had a great life! I love my grandmother more than anything in the world, and know how sad this must be for you. She was lucky to have you as a granddaughter.

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    1. Thank you. :-) I think she DID enjoy her life, at least until the last ten years. After her partner died when he was 90 and she was 88, I think she was lonely and a bit bored most of the time. She probably would have been happier in a senior community where she would have had other people to talk to and do things with, but she was afraid of losing her independence, so she refused. Not a mistake I plan to make!

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  6. She must have lived an interesting life. I'm so sorry for your loss dear.

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  7. My thoughts are with you, I am so sorry for your loss.

    The letters sound beautiful, and it's lovely that you read them aloud. One of things I found in my Dad's house were his handwritten notes from experiments from when he was an analytical chemist, and whilst I can only understand 1 word in 3, to have something so personal (and that obviously meant so much to him) is an absolute comfort to have and to treasure.

    Take care.

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    1. Thank you. I think that's awesome about your dad's notes, even though you can't understand them very well. :-)

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