Thursday, July 23, 2015

"All shall be well, and all shall be well..."

 


"... and all manner of things shall be well."

Julian of Norwich was a very wise woman, I think.  She knew, probably from experience, that there are times in our lives when we just need someone to tell us that "all will be well".  It doesn't usually matter who says it; when our world is falling down around our ears, we just need to hear that everything is going to be all right.  And it sounds just as good to me coming from a woman who lived in the 1300s as it would from a close friend.  You can feel the love and peace coming from her words.  She reminds me of a mother whispering in the dark to her child who is ill or has had a bad dream.

Very little is known about her life, including her real name.  Here is part of what is written about her in Wikipedia:

"Julian of Norwich lived in a time of turmoil, but her theology was optimistic and spoke of God's love in terms of joy and compassion, as opposed to law and duty. For Julian, suffering was not a punishment that God inflicted, as was the common understanding. She believed that God loved everyone and wanted to save them all. Popular theology, magnified by catastrophic contemporary events such as the Black Death and a series of peasant revolts, asserted that God punished the wicked. Julian suggested a more merciful theology, which some say leaned towards universal salvation. She believed that behind the reality of hell is a greater mystery of God's love. In modern times, she has been classified as a proto-universalist, although she did not claim more than hope that all might be saved.

"Although Julian's views were not typical, the authorities might not have challenged her theology because of her status as an anchoress [an enclosed nun who never left her cell]. Her theology was unique in three aspects: her view of sin; her belief that God is all-loving and without wrath; and her view of Christ as mother."

This is probably why she was canonized as a saint.  People felt comforted by her words, that there was still hope to be found in the midst of misery and fear.

Earlier today, when I talked to my mom, she asked me to call the Social Services person at the nursing center and speak to her about when my mom might be able to go home.  She was annoyed because they had told her she wouldn't be ready "for at least a few more days."  I promised her I would call the woman tomorrow.  As I hung up the phone, I felt my stomach clench.  Huh??  I DO want my mom to go home, right?  Of course I do.  So why did I feel like the bottom was about to drop out of my world?

After thinking about it for quite some time (in between doing various work things, of course), I suddenly realized that it didn't matter what the verdict was; my stomach clenched because my world is going to change yet again.  Whenever my mom goes home, I'll have to go up and spend a few days with her to get her settled, which will totally change my schedule, and then I will go back to worrying about her living alone.  If she doesn't go home soon, I will have to deal with listening to her anger and frustration at having to stay there longer, and I will also continue to worry about possibly having to switch her from Medicare to Medi-Cal and all the red tape and money issues that go with that.  Either way, I will still have to deal with new issues, and I don't want to.  I'm just barely coming to terms with the situation as it is right now.  

But when Julian of Norwich calmly and gently tells me that "all shall be well", I can take a deep breath and relax.  Whatever happens, all shall be well, because she said so.

8 comments:

  1. Big hug! I can only imagine what you're going through. I am a creature of habit and routine and ALL change, good or bad, leads to anxiety. I love the quote... A nice repetitive mantra.

    And also Go Lucretia Go! Just to cheer you on :)

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    1. Thanks!! It's weird... we complain about what we've got, but if something tries to change it, NOOOOO!!! People are strange, aren't we? ;-)

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  2. Oh boy, do I know that feeling! I sympathize with you, dear friend. You will make it through this. Sending lots and lots of love.

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    1. I'm sure you DO know. Thanks, I think the love arrived today!

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  3. I'm going through some of the same thoughts and feelings. My thoughts are with you.

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    1. I'm sorry to hear that. Hope this post helps a little, then. Thanks, and my thoughts are with you as well.

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