Wednesday, January 8, 2014

When I'm 64: Thoughts about Dressing Goth after 60

Okay, I've been having lots of fun discovering my own personal goth style that looks good on me while not being "too young" for my age... but what happens when I get into my 60's??  Not many "SuperElderGoths" around to ask, so we'll all have to invent this one on our own.  How delightful!!  Not.

Right now, I'm leaning toward a mixture of Morticia Addams and Stevie Nicks -- you know, long and flowing, very elegant, with extravagant shoes. I recently picked up this awesome dress at Hot Topic, at 25% off! 

http://imagecdn-2.findnsave.com/45/7008314-214x288
I think the bare leg look sucks with it, but I've got some patterned black tights that will look awesome, along with heels, of course.  (These boots are great for clubbing, but not for a professional or Morticia Addams look.  For Stevie, you would want platform boots and a huge chiffon scarf.)

However, recently I found this article called "Top 10 Items You're Too Old to Wear" that totally set me off... and NOT in a good way.  Are we living in "Logan's Run" here??  Some things I did agree with, totally or in part, but most of them are just absurd!  In a nutshell, here is what they say, and what I think of what they say (hey, who ARE "they", anyway???  Nobody I want to know!!):

1.  No message t-shirts after 30.

What, people over 30 have nothing to say?? Nope, guess we're too OLD to have anything worth saying.

2. No "too trendy" denim after 35.

This includes jeans with rhinestones or designs on the back pockets.  And we should only wear black or dark denim, no light colors.  Say WHAT??  Oh, that's right, we OLD PEOPLE have nothing to say.

3. No "costume shoes"  (impractical, wildly crazy shoes) after the mid-40's.

Sorry, I'm not turning my 4-inch Demonia platform Mary Janes over to Goodwill anytime soon.  Did Stevie give hers away??  Nope.  And I firmly believe that every woman should have at least ONE pair of fantastic shoes, preferably ones that she can walk in, but if not, oh well. 

4. No micro-mini skirts after 40.

I can't argue with this one too much, especially since most women under 40 don't look all that great in micro minis (you know, the kind that disappear when you sit down).  But if you've still got great legs and thighs, honey, I say flaunt 'em, regardless of your age!!

5. Nothing showing "excessive cleavage" after 50.

To my husband (and probably to most men), there's no such thing as "excessive cleavage" unless it's covered in wrinkles, so I'm not going to worry about this one too much.  If I don't want to see it, I won't be showing it, anyway.

6. No white ribbed-cotton tank tops after 40.

Wait, are they saying we shouldn't wear white, we shouldn't wear cotton, or we shouldn't wear tank tops??  Or maybe we shouldn't be wearing ribs...  ;-)

7. No hair gadgets after 30.

Geez!  I guess we're supposed to let our hair flap all over the place instead, or wear granny buns.  Next thing you know, we'll be told we aren't supposed to have HAIR after 30...  I know, let's all shave our heads, then it won't be a problem!!  Move over, Sade!!

8. No oversized, overly decorated hobo bags after 50.

I've never been fond of those bags, anyway.  But it seems to me that the older you get, the more stuff you need to haul around, like all those pills you have to take now, a fold-up cane, Ex-Lax, reading glasses, driving glasses, extra hearing aid batteries, extra false teeth, Depends, your will...

9. No cheap, unflattering underwear after 40.

Now this one I actually agree with!  But why wait until 40 to get good stuff that fits you properly??  Do that NOW, before you even need to worry about how it looks!  Then you won't feel like a fool when you realize that you do actually need bras (or other things) that cover things up, smooth things over, or hold things in.  I can't remember having cheap or unflattering underthings since I was a kid, and I intend to keep it that way!

10. No "loud accessories" after 35.

Two of the first things mentioned on the list are black nail polish and "goth-inspired studded belts". Do you want to hold them down while I bitch-slap them, or would you prefer to do the slapping?  Either way works for me.

************

Please notice that according to the article, no one over 50 should be wearing or carrying any of the above.  This means that at 60, I should dress like... who, Granny in "The Beverly Hillbillies"???  Somehow, I just can't see myself going along with that one.  Can you see yourself that way?  Nope, neither can I.

Now, here is MY advice for these self-styled "fashion advisors"... GET OVER YOURSELVES!  Real women wear what we want, when we want to and how we want to. If you don't feel comfortable wearing something, don't wear it, but stop trying to tell the rest of us what we can and cannot wear. 

Life is too short to be a dull white sheep; become the shiny black sheep you know you are!!


38 comments:

  1. That article is ridiculous!!! Wear whatever the hell you want!! Women in their 30s, like me, worship older women who have the cajones to express themselves through fashion- it gives us hope that life isn't just some dull, bland trudge towards death after 40!! I mean look at Betsey Johnson? She's fantastic!! Not to mention Vivian Westwood!!!!! You keep on being a hottie, Lucretia, damn the man (or woman, in this case).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Woo-HOO, thank you!! Other than Martin, I think you're the only person who's ever called me a hottie! And I certainly don't mind being worshipped, just don't put me up on a pedestal, as it's a looong way down. ;-)

      Seriously, though, it's good to know that it really DOES make a difference to others when we stand up and challenge idiotic things like this article. As far as I'm concerned, the word "old" doesn't apply to anyone younger than 70, and sometimes not even then! The expression that "you're as young as you feel" really is true. Way too many people dress and act far older than their chronological age simply because they believe what our society tells them they "have to" do or be at a certain age. And it's SAD.

      Delete
    2. It is SAD and TRAGIC to waste vitality and creative expression, just to conform to society's idea of what is proper in old age. My great-grandmother was fabulous, fantastic hairdresser, strutting her crazy prints, up until her death last year. I loved her madly, and she was an inspiration, as are you!!

      Delete
    3. She sounds totally awesome!! And thank you for the compliment, that REALLY means something to me. :-)

      Delete
  2. I second that!! I think people should wear whatever they want. Screw "rules" I think it is lame that anyone could try and tell others what to wear. Who cares. When I was younger I had a lot of long morticia addams type dresses and I still do today. I also have gothic lolita stuff I wear and I don't care who does and doesn't like it. Its all about your preference and what you love :>

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's amazing how hard some people try to control other people. I've never been able to understand the mindset behind this crap, and I don't think I want to!

      Delete
  3. I love Logan's Run! Been too long since I saw it!

    I think you are meant to cut all your hair off and get a blue rinse? Ha ha, no chance of that! I want to have relatively long hair for good! Cutting it all granny style really ages you!

    I love Morticia and Stevie Nicks style for any age! I think it would look awesome on Elder Goths! That said, I can't guess ages well, but I have seen Elder Goths who are old enough to have grown up kids (I know they had kids cause I talked to them) in miniskirts, and latex. If it still looks good on them, why the hell not?! Maybe just for clubs, though.

    I am so interested to see what my generation will be wearing when they are old! Will they give up the booty shorts when the booty starts dropping? It frightens me to think about that. I would like to think that everyone will wear tasteful stylish things like the women of the Advanced Style blog, whose wardrobes I would GLADLY raid, but I guess they will mostly either stay embarrasingly young, or start wearing the same boring t-shirts and pants most old people seem to wear. The fact that old ladies compliment me when I am wearing things like a long layered tulle fairy type skirt with pointed ends seems to suggest that some of them really long to break out those old fancy clothes again and feel like they can't. So don't worrry about it, inspire other women as you grow older!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehehe, some people keep wearing booty shorts even after their booty has fallen out of them!! But while that IS frightening to see, it's even more frightening to think of us all becoming like the Stepford Wives, doing and wearing what we are told to by people we don't even know. I'd honestly rather see people in clothes or hairstyles that look bad on them (to me); it's our right, after all! (I won't even mention how terrible I look in really short hair... did that once, NEVER AGAIN. It totally made my face look round and fat!!)

      I've heard several stories about elderly ladies making positive comments to people about their alternative styles and clothes. I remember one said, "I wish I'd had the guts to wear something like that when I was young!" So I think you're right.

      Delete
  4. Most of these rules are so ridicilous! I breake all of them :D
    I'm sure this article is written by a 25 year old age-o-fobic person ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good, I plan on breaking most of them as well! Actually, I think I already DO break most of them, hehehe...

      If the picture/profile I found on Facebook is indeed of the author, she looks to be somewhere between 25 and 35, and lives in southern California (Hollywood area), so YES, I agree with you!

      Delete
  5. Some things work for people when they are young or old. I think the most important thing they are forgetting is to make fashion decisions for yourself! I think those list of rules are so stupid.
    PS-The dress is really cute!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're so right! Fashion is personal, and should stay that way. I LOVE the dress, and I'm planning to wear it to job interviews with shiny black heels and my corset-laced Tripp jacket! :-)

      Delete
  6. I think as long as you never grace the pages of The People of Walmart website, you're doing just fine with your wardrobe choices! LOL

    I'd rather be thought of as an eccentric old lady than just an old lady. Where's the fun in that? ;o)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooooh, I LOVE that!! "The People of Walmart" website... Is that anything like The Elevator Version of Greatest Hits of the Dentist's Office??? ROFL!! And I sincerely doubt any of US will ever be Walmart poster people!

      Have you ever read the poem "Warning" by Jenny Joseph? It's the basis for the Red Hat Society, and it totally fits this post: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/warning/

      Delete
  7. I think we could have a lot of fun taking turns holding them down and bitch-slapping them! ;D

    I marvel at the arrogance of the people who make these rules about something as subjective as fashion. Whether it be mainstream or subculture, people love to try and impose conventions on others in order to reassure themselves about their own choices.

    I think you should wear whatever makes you happy and I'm sure you'll look just fabulous!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cool, I'll put you down as the slapper first, izzat okay?? ;-)

      I believe you're right, people who do this stuff are obviously in need of validation of the choices they make. It's sad that they are so insecure, and sad that they manage to pass that insecurity on to so many people. I guess it's up to us to change that!

      Delete
  8. First and foremost, there ARE a bunch of punk rockers and goths who are in their late 50s these days. And I'll tell you what, they'll probably look the same in their 60s. I have two folks in mind who I see constantly and who I love tremendously because they do what they want no matter what their age.

    Now let's talk about that list -- I have two words for those 20 something fashion bitches: FUCK THEM. Do and wear what makes your heart sing. Oooo this makes me so angry! Here's some inspiration for you:

    http://advancedstyle.blogspot.com

    These ladies are artsy, wonderful, talented, and more fashionable then those idiots who made that asinine list!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yeah, I break all the rules too. Well, maybe not the micro mini, but I never really wore them.

      Delete
    2. Oh, I LOVE this link, thank you!! Putting it into My Blogs right away. And I think your two words about the "fashion bitches" go together SO well with my three words to them, don't you think?? ;-)

      Delete
  9. I have an acquaintance who's a part of the goth scene. She's getting close to 60, dances tirelessly, wears mini skirts (looks great in them) and has a passion for life and excitement that equals that of a twenty something. I'm far from being a kid myself; yet people tell me that that the goth looks works for me, even though they wouldn't try it themselves. I remember seeing a photo of a man taken from WGT. He was totally gothed up and looked to be well into his 70s.

    So what I'm saying is, ignore all those conformists and their advice. They're not you. Be yourself and dress in a way that's comfortable and pleasing to you. Some of us will respect you for it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know, I think I've seen that picture of the gothed-up 70s guy. Totally wild!! I think there were probably lots of goths around before the subculture came into being, and he was probably one of them. Good for him for taking advantage of it! Your friend sounds pretty cool, too, I could probably take lessons from her. :-)

      And from the few pics you've posted of yourself, I'd say that goth DOES look good on you! Because, of course, it's who you are.

      Delete
  10. I wanted to share this comment with everyone as well; she doesn't have an account and can't post here, so I'm posting it for her:

    Hi- long time follower, first time commenting, but as I do not have a blogspot account I am making do with email.

    I Had to comment on this one! As a Goth in her 40's, that made me both laugh my ass off And made me mad; an unnusual combination, to say the least.

    As far as the short skirt rule goes, all I have to say are 2 words: 'Tina Turner'. She may not be Goth, but you've gotta admit, that woman could work a mini skirt like nobody's business! I've lost count of how many t-shirts with wording on them I have, I'm wearing black leopard brocade printed jeans with black SteamPunk-esque high heeled boots as I type, and my hair is as often tamed by a clip or two as it is free, texturized & tormented. (Never mind that I am, ah, gifted in the bosom area & if I'm afraid of clevage, I'm afraid I'm screwed- LOL!)

    Great post, as always! It's great to read about someone in my age bracket rocking the best accessory any woman can have- confidence!

    Beth

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And here's my reply:

      Hi, Beth, VERY nice to meet you! :-)

      Thanks so much for the compliment on my blog! I was rather scared when I started it, because I didn't want to sound like an idiot who didn't know what she was talking about. It's people like you and the positive experiences I'm having with my changes in look and lifestyle that are giving me confidence.

      You are sooo right... Tina Turner totally rocks! In fact, she is one of my icons, although I don't think I've ever mentioned her in a post. I think that, like me, she didn't come into her true Self until after 40, so she's one more weapon in our arsenal! And I LOVE the way she looks in minis, boots and stilettos.

      By the way, I love your description of yourself and your outfit (especially those jeans)! You sound just like a Shiny Black Sheep to me!

      Delete
  11. This post did make me smile, and believe me when I say I agree with your indignation! I'm another lurker dropping by to say hi, and also technically an elder goth (though inside I am still 17..).

    My friend Bob is the official Whitby Goth Weekend photographer and has taken some fabulous pics of elder goths in their finery looking splendid. You can check them out here: http://www.bobslassorphotography.com/whitby-goth-weekends

    One of things I love about Whitby is the age mix - from mini-bats, their parents and even their grand parents. Even gothic dogs! The author of the original article would be horrified at the opulent hair do's, the glittering adornments, the PVC on older people and most definitely CLEAVAGE! Everywhere. And frankly, if you've got it, flaunt it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello! Thanks for breaking your silence, and thank you for the link! Those pics are really great. I would (almost) KILL to go to a Whitby Goth Weekend, although I'd probably be so busy gawking that I'd forget to do anything else. ;-) Yes, I'm sure that stupid author would probably DIE of horror on seeing all those awesome goths in full finery. Hmmm, that could be fun to watch, hehehe...

      No need to lurk, you're always welcome! (But if you enjoy lurking, go right ahead). ;-)

      Delete
    2. Going to Whitby is like Alice stepping through the Looking Glass. There is just so much to gawp at, and happily there are plenty of cafes and bars with window seats where you can do exactly that. I'm lucky enough to live 2 hours away, and the Autumn weekend falls on my wedding anniversary, so its a real treat. There can be a certain element of posing and cosplay, but generally the music and the company is amazing. Mind, I do wish I'd taken a photo of the guy there last year dressed as a full size Mona Lisa, complete with picture frame. Now he was legend!

      Delete
    3. Oh, you ARE lucky! And I can't believe you actually DID NOT take a picture of Mr. Mona Lisa... or should I say, Mr. La Gioconda. ("La Gioconda" is the other, actual name of that painting, a fact very few people know and one I'm sure you don't care about, but I just had to put that in so I can show off a bit.) ;-)

      Delete
    4. You are so right! I just loved reading this post.

      Delete
  12. If youre over 50 and youre trying to fit in your daughters clothes and wear more makeup then michael jackson trust me the guys are laughing at you....you cant put a dress on a pig and call it a ballerina....yes the article overboard but ive been to 100s of concerts and Ive seen women go a little too nuts w it. If your pubes are hanging out and your over 40lbs overweight stop it. Put the alcohol and monsters and chips down and try a pc of fruit every once in a while. Im 43 and I dress hot but I work for my body!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, there are more than a few out there who go "a little too nuts" and wear things that are 2-3 (or more) sizes too small for them. And the older we get, the more most of us NEED to work out to keep looking good.

      Delete
  13. I'm 39 and freaking over wanting to still look "dark" and how people will take it. Mostly I want to be myself, but I'm somehow stupidly scared that people will never take me seriously. I'm running a business and trying to build a fan base, and at the same time struggling with who I am. Sometimes I want to b*tch slap all of society for ever making any of us care or worry. god, I remember a time when none of us, at any age, would have given a flying f**k what anyone thought of us. I miss those days.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think that's stupid at all; I still sometimes feel scared like that. But I definitely agree with you about the bitch slapping! Maybe someday those of us with brains will manage to get all that crap edited out of our society. In the meantime, good luck with your business and your fan base!

      Delete
  14. I am an eccentric old lady in her mid 60's and all I can say is There are no rules.. Know yourself and you know your style!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen to that! And "Know Yourself" is a motto we should all take to heart.

      BTW, in my book, "old" doesn't start until at least 70, so you're not quite there yet. ;-)

      Delete