Tuesday, March 21, 2017

That Which Does Not Kill Me...

No, I haven't died.  Just in case you were wondering.

The world is a strange and confusing place, and I seem to be floating back and forth between 'strange' and 'confusing'.

                                              (Mike Twohy)

I've often read/heard this quote by Nietzsche, and it annoys me every time.  However, right now I'm hoping it's true, because otherwise I'm going crazy instead of getting stronger.

I was really hoping that 2017 would be a better year than the previous three, and it still might turn out that way.  So far, though, it hasn't had much to commend it.  Both our rent and my student loan payments are going up in April; not through the roof, but enough to make things difficult.  There was a fire in our apartment complex a few weeks ago. While our apartment wasn't damaged, it was a really scary experience.  My in-laws in Florida are having serious health issues, and we are worried about them but can't do much from California.  We had to put our oldest cat to sleep (her "In Memorium" is the post before this one).  And ALL of this stuff happened in March!  It feels like the Garbage Truck of Life is dumping on my house... again.  I really wish it would lose my address.

Fortunately, better things are also in the works for us.  We are getting ready to start house hunting, and we are going through a national non-profit organization called NACA (Neighborhood Assistance Corporation of America), which will allow us to avoid having to come up with a down payment and closing costs.  I've only got three more museum classes to take before getting my certificate (the next one starts in April).  I'm working on a new horror short story.  And I just colored my hair a pastel smokey sapphire blue!  The color looks pretty good, although I didn't quite do it right so some of the hair underneath in back didn't get colored at all.  But, hey, I can always buy another box!  :-) 

At this point in time, I'm sort of content just to float along and see what happens next.  I don't really feel like doing anything, as in being proactive about the future, other than the house hunting.  And even that is really something I need to do because the extra rent will be an extra hardship, especially since the new owners are grousing about us having pets.  The past couple of years have really tired me out, and I need some downtime.  So right now, I'm going to sit here in my office, listening to the German Gothic band Faun's Totem album and smelling the freshly opened daffodils I bought at Trader Joe's, and just BE.  

And if any of you would like the Garbage Truck of Life to visit your house, just send me your address, and I'll be glad to send It along. 


  1. Oh dear, sorry things are not working out so well and my condolences on your furbaby. *hugs*

    1. Thank you! Fortunately, things seem to be looking up just a bit. I'll be posting on that soon. :-)

  2. Thanks for the offer on the Garbage Truck of Life but I think I'll pass on that one. I have enough problems.

    I'm like you in that music helps keep me sane. It's my go to for so many things.

    Good luck with the house hunting and with your up and coming story. Hopefully, the rest of the year will turn out better for you. By the way, did your stories ever get published?

    1. I hear that. What is/are your favorite group(s) for 'sanity music'?? Mine are Sisters of Mercy, Diary of Dreams, The Birthday Massacre, and (believe it or not) 80s music off the radio.

      Things are indeed looking up, and I'll be posting about that soon. And yes, two of my stories were published in 2016, one in book format and one online. Thanks for asking! :-)

    2. Some of my favorite bands include Nightwish, Ankhagram (funeral doom from Russia) Draconian, Clan of Xymox, and Diary of Dreams, to name a few.

    3. I loovvve Diary of Dreams!! Clan of Xymox is pretty good. I haven't heard of the others, though, must check them out. Ankhagram sounds particularly interesting... Thanks!

  3. I have a Garbage Truck of Life of my own to deal with. So, I'll pass on the offer. Good luck with finding a new place.

    1. Thanks, and good luck with your GTOL! Hopefully it will lose your address soon.

  4. Hi Lucretia,

    Your situation is unfortunately far too typical today. The increasing student loan payments and rising rent are very commonplace examples of the predatory economy we live in today. Add in the routine ups-and-downs and stresses of everyday life, and sometimes it can seem to all pile on at once.

    Rents are have been skyrocketing nationwide since the mortgage crisis and even though the crisis is now largely over, greedy property investors continue to engage in rent gouging. In some cities, landlords are starting to realize that their free ride is over, but this is happening far too slowly as your case proves.

    The mounting student loan crisis is also affecting far too many people. With nearly $1.3 TRILLION in student loan debt (more than total auto loans or credit cards) nationwide, student debt is crushing many people’s dreams of buying their first home.

    In short, you have a lot of very good company.

    I'm glad you came to the NACA program, because we help people in your situation every day with our program. Auto lending, payday loans, check cashing are other financial areas that are also making it harder to establish a foothold on a daily basis, and NACA is working on advocacy efforts and solutions for these as well. I always tell people this isn’t just a job for us, but rather that we are a family on a mission.

    All that having been said, the best thing you can do is never give up, period. The fact of the matter is Nietzsche was right! The garbage truck visits us all, but the cool part is that it has to move away from your house to get to someone else’s.

    The fire missed you, the cat is no longer in pain, and at least you live in an age where you can keep up with the in-laws and their health on a moment’s notice. And while it may not happen quickly, you’re still going to have a place you can truly call your own in the not too distant future. You’re looking at the truck’s tail lights!

    Tim Trumble
    Online Operations, NACA

    1. Hi, Tim! Thanks for the validation and for the encouragement! As a university financial aid counselor, I try hard to encourage students to avoid too much debt and take out only as much loan money as they REALLY need. Unfortunately, sometimes they really do need most or all of it (as in my case). But you are right, and it's better to focus on the good points, pick up, and keep going.

      And thanks for keeping NACA going, we appreciate you! :-)

  5. If that truck visits again, it better *collect* some garbage! *hugs* Sending you well wishes.

    1. Next time it comes around, I think I'll heave a bomb into it! Thanks, and hugs back to you! :-)

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