Monday, April 29, 2013

"Too Big" to be Goth?

“I’m too big to wear Goth clothes.”

I’ve read this comment on several blogs, and I get SO irritated every time I see it.  Not at the person saying it, but at those who made them feel that way.  Since when must all goths be petit, thin or short??  That's a stereotype, and I hope WE are above those, especially since it's a stereotype taken from the very culture we aspire to be different from.

If you think that, for some reason, you are “too big” to wear goth clothes, here are a few things to keep in mind:

1.  Black is slimming!  It works for ALL body types.  If black makes your skin tone look sallow or yellowish, which does happen to some people, just wear a little complimentary color around your face and be sure your hair color suits you, and the rest will usually take care of itself.

2.  Goth is a state of mind and a style, not a body type or size.  Is anyone "too big" to listen to the Sisters of Mercy, or "too big" to read and enjoy the works of E.A. Poe or Poppy Z. Brite?  I didn't think so.

3.  Not ALL types of goth styles need to be worn by ALL goths.  While someone may or may not look good in a teeny Tripp mini skirt or baggy bondage pants, none of us need to wear them to 'prove' our gothness.  If you look great in something, wear it!  If you don't like the way you look in a particular item or style, skip it, even if all your friends are wearing it.  Remember, you are the Shiny Black Sheep; goth style is about individual style, NOT about everyone wearing the same thing or looking the same way!  (Didn't we leave that mindset back in high school?  Apparently not...)  ::SIGH::

4.  If you are a plus-sized goth, there are lots of clothes out there that will be perfect for your figure, whatever your height, weight, or other measurements may be.  The "average" woman, in America or any other country, is NOT 5'7" tall, 128 pounds, and 36-24-36!  There really is no such thing as an 'average-sized' person,  if you get right down to it.  Average compared to what?  We're all unique!  Clothing manufacturers know this; there are now lots of stores out there, both physical and online, that stock larger sizes, and most have stopped being jerks and charging extra for plus-size items.

When I first started shopping for goth clothes I was a size 16 (5'4" and 197 pounds), so I made a beeline for my local Torrid; for those who haven't heard of it, it's Hot Topic's plus-size store, specializing in sizes 12-26.  They offer a store credit card, and you can get lots of coupons and $10-off cards and stuff if you have one.  At the time I started shopping there, Torrid was FULL of wonderful gothy stuff!  I'm now a size 12 in their clothes, so I can still shop there, but I usually wait until they have sales or send me coupons.  Unfortunately, it's gone the way of HT so they stock less of the cool goth stuff like Skel-Animals, Tripp, and those amazingly quirky t-shirts they had when I first went there.  However, I picked up some great items during my vacation, including a shirt with a skull on it that's made of cats, and I saw some tops that looked like shiny black corsets, so maybe the alternative lines are coming back!  I hope so.

If you are a plus-size person, where do you find your goth clothes? 

15 comments:

  1. I love this post! I have a series of posts about dressing the "apple-shaped" goth figure. I never wore a plus-size, but it saddens me to hear that the one "retail goth" store for larger sizes stopped carrying goth clothing. What the heck is that all about? Anyway, I post a lot of Etsy clothing finds, from designers and vintage sellers that carry full-figured sizes. And even though it can sometimes be of lesser quality stitching, your local Dots or Catos store sometimes carries decent tops and skirts :)

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    1. Thank you! I am going to have to check out your posts. I'm not apple- or pear-shaped, but I know plenty of people who are.

      I LOVE Etsy; the only downside is that, of course, you can't try things on before buying. But if you contact the seller in advance with questions AND check out any measurements they give you, it usually isn't a problem.

      We don't have Dots or Catos stores in California (I just checked), but they ARE online, so thanks very much for mentioning them!

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  2. Great post, I agree with you, goth is for everybody no matter shape or size :)

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  3. Sorry, let me try this again. The idea that a person must have a certain body shape in order to adopt a personal style and lifestyle is just plain silly.

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    1. Isn't it, though... I've never understood the mindset of those who set themselves up as 'style nazis', or any other kind of nazi, for that matter. If we're not careful, we could end up with a real Logan's Run-type mentality, killing people off at a certain age, size or weight, to avoid "ugly people", and where would THAT leave us??

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    2. Well, I would have probably been killed off long ago then, having met all three of the above-mentioned criteria! LOL

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  4. Gothic culture welcomes all shapes and sizes. It shouldn't matter what skin color, heritage or shape anyone is. I love this post! I have friends who are plus size goth and they shop on ebay, Torrid and when I was at Lip Service warehouse in L.A. I found both petite clothes and plus size for great prices. I even got something for one of my relatives they liked very much.

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    1. Thanks! And exactly, it SHOULDN'T matter... So I wonder why it does to some people?? Especially since it seems to matter only to those who fit the supposed 'standard'. I'm glad to hear that Lip Service carries a full spectrum of sizes! We shouldn't feel the need for separate stores for larger sized people; isn't segregation supposed to be illegal now???

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  5. I'm a fat goth too. I normally don't mind it, since I have a health problem that makes it difficult to loose weight (I've lost 20kg but I probably gained them again). What is most heartbreaking is when you live in a small place and you can't find normal clothes that fit you, let alone goth clothes. I live in Portugal. Small country as everyone know. On some mainstream brands like C&A I'm size XL/XXL. But most brands do not have that sizes. And the place where I live, where you can only find chinese shops, are even more difficult. The few alternative stores that I know barely carry larger sizes. I'm not very good at sewing and although my grandma is, she can't make those paper models to make clothing, so she can't make anything from scratch. To ask someone to make clothes or to order online (downside: you can't try them on) is very expensive, so with the crisis and stuff...yeah, I buy what I'm able, since it's very difficult. People shouldn't have this kind of difficulty. It's very sad that I can't wear certain stuff that I like because they only carry small sizes :(

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  6. Thanks for commenting! I'm sorry to hear about your health problem; quite a few people I know have various health problems that cause them to gain weight and not let them lose it, so I do know what you're talking about.

    If you can find clothing patterns online (those are what the paper models you mentioned are called), maybe those would be cheaper for you to order, and your grandmother could make things for you that way. Try Googling "plus size clothing patterns", and see if you can get some basic ones in styles you like; then you can make as many as you like, and just add whatever gothy stuff you want to dress them up! I hope this helps. Please do let me know if you find what you need this way!

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    1. Thanks for the help :) what I've been doing now is alter some clothes that I already own, with lace, ribbon and velvet. I have to try what you suggest when I have a bit more money :)

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    2. You're very welcome, so glad I could be of some help! Isn't it amazing what some easy decorating can do? :-) And good luck finding some great patterns!

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    3. It is indeed :) and thanks :D

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