It's the End of the World as I Knew It... and I DON'T Feel Fine

Once upon another lifetime (March 2013), I started this blog.  Now that I think of it, it really WAS another lifetime, before any of the crazy stuff with my mom and grandmother began.  I'm definitely not the same person now that I was back then.  Are you?  Probably not, no matter what has or hasn't been going on in your life.

2016 has been a year of way too many endings and beginnings, at least for me: losing my mother, losing a beloved cat, buying a car, starting my online museum certificate program, finding out that we will probably have to move soon as our apartment complex is being sold to people who want to renovate it and raise the rents through the roof, and now that travesty of a presidential election.  Even though two of those events are good things, it's still too much change all at once, especially after the previous two years of mostly loss.  It's enough to want to make one want to just give up and crawl in a hole for at least the next four years, when hopefully all those nasty problems will have gone away.

Except they won't have, of course.  That's the problem with cowering in a corner, in a hole, or under the desk.  Those nasty problems just wait quietly until you poke your head out to see if they are gone, and then POW... right between the eyes.

But we can we do?  We're just average people, right?  Wrong; we're GOTHS, and if we were average, we wouldn't be wearing killer boots and lots of black, wandering around in cemeteries, and listening to The Sisters of Mercy, London After Midnight, and Siouxsie Sioux.  Some of us have had to deal with hate and prejudice more than others, but at some point ALL of us have felt (and may still feel) that we were 'different' from the sheep in the local flock.  We have all worked for, and earned, the right to think outside the box.

Unfortunately, the election seems to have given some people the idea that it's now okay to voice hatred to anyone they don't like or who is different from them, and to promote physical and verbal violence even more than usual.  We don't need this, and we definitely don't need the US government to support it!  

If ever there was a time for Goths to show solidarity and support for what we believe in, 

THIS IS IT.

While I'm trying to think outside that box and find a constructive and useful way to confront these problems, I've been signing every petition to support ballot recounts, disband the Electoral College, defend Standing Rock, and stop the new government from messing with Medicare that I've been able to click a mouse on.  I've sent money to some of them, too, which I never used to do.  I'm THAT worried...  But we can all do more, and I'd like to, if I could figure out what needs to be done.  Share your thoughts and ideas here, please!!  

And if anyone reading this actually voted for Chump and thinks he will be just what this country needs to become 'great' again, I give you this quote from British author Evelyn Beatrice Hall:

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

May we never lose that right, especially by our own hands.

December: "I'm SO Goth..."

Have yourselves a wonderfully Gothy Holiday!!

  

(If I can find this card for sale, I'm definitely buying it in bulk! In the meantime, you can find more of Aly Fell's work here.)

November: "I'm SO Goth..."

  


And who's gonna argue with HIM??? 

Calling Andrew Eldritch...

... and calling all goths!!  If you haven't read Sylvie D.'s blog post in Little Corp Goth Girl, you need to read it right away.  

It seems that Andrew Eldritch said in an interview that if Chump became president, he would put out another Sisters of Mercy album, presumably as a protest.  So Sylvie has created a petition to send to Mr. Eldritch (the link is in her post) calling for the album to be made, but she needs 100 signatures. 

I am Number 5!  What number will you be???

Hallowe'en Cake Walk

This is, I believe, what you would call a 'filler' post; something you do when you don't have anything to say, but want to say SOMETHING.  And this is really a fun link, given to me by a friend, so perhaps it's more of a 'dessert' post than just filler.  :-)

Hallowe'en Cakes

Hope you enjoy them! 

October: "I'm SO Goth..."

I'm So Goth that...

 

Why knowing the reasons doesn’t always make everything okay

After reading several friends’ posts, and watching/reading about current events in the world, I’ve been thinking a lot about certain phrases that many people tend to use when others discuss their problems or talk about a current crisis.  And I’ve decided that, in my opinion, the absolute worst one of these is: “Everything happens for a reason”, sometimes accompanied by “we just don’t know what it is”.  The direct implication behind this statement is that what happened wasn’t some random chance of fate or the result of hatred of the person(s) by the gods.  Okay, nothing wrong with that; it frequently IS comforting to be told that we’re not so insignificant that the universe doesn’t notice or care what happens to us.  However, the indirect implication is that, if we knew/understood the reason for something terrible happening, it wouldn’t be so terrible.  And those who tack on a further comment about karma or how “what goes around comes around” are also implying that at least some fault may lie with the victim(s).

Is it true that everything happens for a reason?  YES, absolutely!  Everything does happen for at least one reason, perhaps more than one. But that doesn't necessarily mean that the people it happens to did something to deserve it.  For example, the earthquake in Japan in 2011 happened because the several continental and oceanic plates that Japan sits on shifted.  The accompanying tsunami happened because the movements of that earthquake caused a specific type of movement of the water.  Their nuclear plants then had problems because the built-in protections that had held up against the earthquake weren’t strong enough to hold up against the tsunami as well.  These things each happened for one or more reasons, and we know what those reasons were. 

But please tell me, how exactly did knowing the reasons make things any less terrible for the Japanese?  Their homes were still damaged or destroyed, their friends and family members were still dead or missing, their communities were still demolished, their jobs were still gone or in jeopardy, their financial situations were still precarious, and they were still desperate for shelter, water and food.  How is it that knowing why these disasters happened is supposed to make it somehow less difficult to bear?  And while some of the fault, at least with regard to the nuclear plants, MAY have been the result of poor planning/ignorance/whatever on the part of various organizations, why should thousands of people who had nothing to do with that feel better knowing they are suffering for someone else's bad karma points?

I hope someone explained it to them so that they felt better about the whole thing.  

There are people who spout out the same useless and unfeeling platitudes when someone they know tells them they have cancer, or an inoperable tumor, or Parkinson's disease, or some other life-altering thing that can't be fixed.  Maybe they don't know what else to say, or maybe they truly believe it themselves.  But somehow, I don't think it would comfort them much if it was said to them in their time of need. 

PLEASE think twice before telling someone that their suffering is happening for a reason, and that they just don't know what it is.  It's not only condescending, it's judgmental and cruel, even if you don’t mean it that way.  Instead, try a nod and sympathetic silence, or maybe (even better) “I’m so sorry this is happening”, and give them a gentle hand squeeze or a hug.  Chances are you'll make their burden a little easier to deal with, knowing they are not alone, and that someone really cares.