My son, Stuart, moved out of our apartment (unofficially) almost two years ago; he still has a lot of junk stuff in it, but basically he's now living with his girlfriend at her parents' house while they try to find an apartment they can actually afford (dream on). So, in the last several months, Martin has been turning Stuart's former bedroom more and more into a "mancave" dedicated to 40K Warhammer miniatures and similar junk stuff.
A few months ago, my nephew (Stuart's dad's brother's son) called with the news that he has been accepted to San Francisco State University, but was waitlisted for the dorms and needed help finding off-campus housing. I was glad to help him out, and also gave him some help with his financial aid; since that's what I do for a living, I figured he was entitled to a little free advice. And I told him that if, for some reason, he was unable to find housing before school started, he was welcome to stay in Stuart's old room until he found something closer to school. He thanked me, I sent him the info and website links he had requested, along with my e-mail address, and that was the end of it. So I thought.
Fast forward to last Friday... I got a call from Stuart telling me that Michael HAD found a place with one of Stuart's friends, but that it had fallen through, and he had also forgotten to keep up with the dorm waitlist and got kicked off it, and could he still take us up on our offer to let him stay with us? I said yes, then asked when his classes started... on August 24th, less then ten days away! Needless to say, I asked Stuart to have Michael call me ASAP.
What follows is a typical parental rant...
What IS it with kids these days?? According to Stuart, he has been nagging Michael to do various things regarding the situation, including calling us sooner, but Michael "just didn't listen". I told Stuart (with a smirk in my voice) that NOW he understood how I had felt at various times with him in the past. He was appropriately penitent, heheheh...
Michael just turned 18 in July, so he is still somewhat in the "adults have holes in their heads" phase, but STILL... He has a cell phone, TWO laptops and a regular computer, not including access to his home phone, so the only reason I can think of why he didn't call sooner is that he was too embarrassed to do so, and was hoping for a miracle that didn't happen.
So this Friday, Michael will be arriving with his cell phone, computer and two laptops (and hopefully some clothes) to stay with us. He will be paying room and board, so this will be a big help for us, actually, in addition to enjoying his company and getting to know him better.
It will be very interesting, from a sociocultural anthropologist's point of view as well as from a personal one, to see how Michael reacts to his new environment. He will be going from living in Southern California with his uncle and grandmother (he has always lived with them, and they raised him after his father died when he was seven) to living with me and Martin in Northern California. At home, he was the child; here he will be an adult, with none of the emotional baggage of home except what he brings with him. When he was younger, he idolized Stuart; now he will get a sample of "walking in Stuart's shoes", so to speak. And he hasn't lived with a goth before, not to mention that Martin and I are both a little crazy! I hope it will be a good experience for him, and for us as well.
Ooh this sounds like so much fun! I hope you post more about this, I am interested too.
ReplyDeleteGoody, I'm glad! I'll be sure to do updates, then. :-)
DeleteOoh! Dont forget to set house rules, haha! It will be an interesting experience! Maybe you can write a Sitcom!
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, house rules WILL be set! They'll be pretty much the same as they were for Stuart. Hmmm, I don't know about a sitcom, though. Usually those involve finding strange people in someone's bed in the morning!! ;-)
DeleteI agree with the above comment. He might be a legal adult, but even if he were 50 house rules have to be set. I suspect that your gothiness won't bother him very much. He might be somewhat amused by it but most young people are pretty open minded these days. Besides, we older goths have generally toned it down a bit by the time we reach a certain age. Good luck and enjoy!
ReplyDeleteI agree also, as you can see by my reply to Laura. I don't imagine he had a ton of freedom at home, so I'm expecting one of two things to happen. Either he will follow the rules pretty much without question, or he will 'explode' into his newly acquired freedom for a bit before settling down. I'm more inclined to expect the former, but with a few deviations normal for this situation. Honestly, I'd be surprised if he took his freedom to extremes, but anything's possible. And he might just enjoy the VERY different atmosphere I think he'll find at our house.
DeleteUsing the phone is SO tedious, I've procrastinated on plenty of calls (though not usually calls to relatives). As a kid and teen, I remember having to call my Oma, with terror in my heart that I would trip over my words and offend her. Part of it is, many of us who grew up with computers are so used to emails, text, IM, that when we actually have to use our voices to talk, we experience a reaction which I can only describe as panic. But hey, that's why there's email (I email my aunt regularly)! No excuses!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, have fun! Your nephew is very lucky to have you as an aunt :-)
Thank you! I actually like talking on the phone, as long as it's not a really LONG conversation (or my arm and ear get tired!), and as long as the connection is good! But cell phones seem to frequently have bad connections, or else they're cheap and don't work well, or the battery dies, so my preference is a land line. I don't even own a cell phone, except for a basic one in my van for calling 911. Just call me Technosaurus Regina!! ;-)
DeleteHah, I can relate, I'm also a landline kind of gal, and the last of my generation without an android phone sewn into my hand. Real phones just feel more solid in your hand, and who wants to make calls or be called on the go? I hate calling someone and hearing the roar of traffic in the background. You waste half of your minutes saying "What?? Could you repeat that?".
DeleteOh, YES! You are my kinda gal! :-) If I'm on the phone with someone and realize they are driving, I will immediately say, "Oh, you're driving, I'll let you go!" and hang up. And one of the reasons I don't have a cell phone is so that no one will bother me when I'm out and about.
DeleteYou're a braver woman than I, Lucretia. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't know about that, but thank you for the compliment! :-)
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