Saturday, November 23, 2013

Silly Post: If Vampires Ruled the World (or Why We Need More Dark Shadows)

This morphed from a rather silly post I began while feeling crabby into something a bit more philosophical (yet campy) than I had expected.

When I was in the second grade, my mom was working full-time, so I had to go to what's now called daycare after school.  The lady I stayed with was older (she had two adult children who no longer lived at home), her husband was at work all day, and I was the only child she looked after, so it was just me, Mrs. Gilbert, and her whippet, Rainey.  Mrs. Gilbert enjoyed watching soap operas, so of course I watched them, too, and one of the ones that was on when I got there after school was Dark Shadows

Now, if you've ever seen the original series, you know that it was NOT a child-friendly show.  In fact, while it was probably rather cheesy for many adults, it was pretty scary for a six-year-old with a very active imagination.  But at the same time, it totally fascinated me, so much so that it was the only show I bought bubblegum cards for (until Star Wars, of course).  Yes, they actually had bubblegum cards for a spooky soap opera!  I didn't even like bubblegum; I threw the gum away or gave it to my friends, and kept the cards.

Dark Shadows was the show that taught me all about vampires, werewolves, ghosts and zombies, and what to do if you were menaced by them (who needs The Discovery Channel when you've got THIS??).  And the vampire, Barnabas Collins (see below), became basically the hero of the story once he appeared in it, a vampire with a heart, not to mention fangs.  I had the great fortune to discover that most of the original episodes are on YouTube, so now I'm watching one every day at work (I'm up to Episode 89), and loving every terribly cheesy minute!


Now for the silly part of this post...

If Vampires Ruled the World:

1. There would be no more daytrading.  (Sorry, I just had to say that.)

2. We humans wouldn't want any more hierarchies, because the higher up you are on the totem pole, the more likely you are to be bitten next.

3. We wouldn't want to let the sun go down on our anger, as we might not get another chance to say we're sorry before it rose again.

4. No one would agree to stay in a dead-end job, because it COULD be forever (not to mention the "dead" part).

5. We'd realize how silly stroking one's ego really is; prey doesn't have an ego.

6. Makeup and mirror companies would probably go out of business (because one can't put makeup on without a mirror, and what vampire would want one of those around?).

And finally, click here for the shortest, funniest "horror" movie I've ever seen...  ;-)


  1. I might have to give this show another try, I watched a couple of episodes a while ago, and nothing had really happened yet, can you message me the address to see them on Youtube? I can't find them.

    1. It's tricky finding some of the episodes! Here is the link to the only one I could find of the original episode 1:

      What I do to find them is go to YouTube, then type in "dark shadows episode 1" or whatever the number is. Make sure you DON'T click on the newer one, these will be in black and white. Please let me know what you think!

    2. I'm pretty sure that the original black and white 'Dark Shadows' never aired in Australia, but I have watched clips on YouTube. The remake series in the nineties was on here though and I watched that. So many people seem to have such warm, nostalgic memories of the original.

      Loved "The Sensible Horror Film"! :D

    3. That wouldn't surprise me; I don't think it aired anywhere other than the U.S. I watched a few episodes of the 90's remake... ughh!! The original starts VERY slowly, I admit, and it takes awhile to get things going, but it's worth it. I'm not sure why, exactly, but it is! :-)

      Glad you enjoyed that little blurb, I thought it was hilarious!

  2. I simply love Dark Shadows and have been watching the original episodes in order for months now on DVD from Netflix. I'm up to episode 170 and the next nine episodes just arrived. I don't watch daily as you do, but it's the perfect ending to my day. I'm stull about 40 epidodes from Barnabas' appearance, but things are really getting interesting now.

    1. Good, I'm glad you're still watching it! I only watch Monday through Friday, one episode per day at lunch time, just as if I was watching it on TV. Makes it more fun when I have to wait for the next installment! ;-)

      So you have to wait for yours as well! I thought you had actually purchased the series. I found the entire set offered in a catalog, nicely packed in a coffin-shaped box! Tempting, but I can't afford it.

  3. I watched Dark Shadows when I was a little kid too! It scared the crap outta me! But I loved Barnabas anyway. I'd way rather watch Dark Shadows on YouTube than these new vampire shows.

    1. Another DS fan, woo-HOO! Apparently the major fans of the show were kids and teens, mainly because it was on when they were home from school but mom was working on dinner. (Guess that explains the bubble gum cards!) I agree, the new vampire shows suck! ;-) Barnabas was probably the most awesome vampire ever, may he now rest in peace!